Many of us walk around feeling like we have limited choices in many aspects of our lives. Take notice of how many times a day you say the words have to, should, and need to. Whenever you feel like you must do something, you’re a victim to your thoughts or circumstances.

In fact, when you’re faced with a task or something to do, there are five basic ways you can respond, and of them, only one is by full conscious choice.

The five ways of responding are “I won’t,” “I have to,” “I need to,” “I want to,” or “I choose to.”

When you say “I won’t” do something, you’re saying that you have no power, that life happens to you no matter what you do or believe. You don’t believe that you have a choice. You also don’t really think there’s anything in it for you – so why do it?

If you say “I have to,” you’re looking at the short term perspective. You “have to” complete the task in front of you, or else you will experience dire consequences. You feel forced to do it, and that you have very little to no choice.

The third response, “I need to,” is a more powerful place to come from. Here, you’re aware of your choices and you seek to find the opportunity in the challenges presented to you. This perspective brings more chance of success, but you still don’t feel like you’re fully at choice.

So these three responses involve either non-action, or action by force. Since you are not energetically bought into a situation, goal, or project, you are creating a recipe for failure. Even though you may think you are choosing to do something, at your core, you chose not to do it, or not to do it well.

The next response, “I want to,” indicates that you are mostly at choice. But, “want” still comes from a place of lack.

The most powerful response is “I choose to.” When you respond this way, you feel you have complete choice. There’s a powerful connection between who you are and what you do.

So how do you get to choose to? Simply come from a place of having everything, and choosing to experience, rather than fill a need. Easy? Not at all, but you can choose to try it.

Join me tonight on my monthly E-Factor broadcast as I discusses the recession, the real impact it's having on us all, and what we can begin to do about immediately. This is a show that many of you have asked for – and that eveyone needs to hear!

Overcoming the Fear of Recession

Recession is the word that seems to be heard (and felt) everywhere. But what's really driving the recession? What else may be compounding the economic concerns? What else is becoming "recessed?" If you're ready to stop being at the effect of the economy, and be part of the cause of the "turnaround," then join this call.

You'll be able to submit questions throughout the show on this topic, and even other issues that you may be encountering and want to pose to me. If you want to submit questions early, send them to efactor@iPECcoaching.com.

Date: Monday, March 23, 2009
Time: 8:30 - 9:30 PM (EST)

To register and receive dial-in information, go to http://www.ipeccoaching.com/the-efactor/index.html

If you’re not achieving what you want to, it’s most likely one of the Big 4 energy blocks that’s keeping you stuck. My last few posts looked at limiting beliefs - things that you accept about life, about yourself, about your world, or about the people in it, that limit you in some way; assumptions – expectations that, because something has happened in the past, it will happen again; and interpretations – opinions and judgments that you create about an event, situation, person, or experience and believe to be true.   

It is now time to examine the last, but certainly not the least, of the big four energy blocks. The final block we’ll talk about - the gremlin - is the most difficult to overcome, because it’s the most personal and holds the most energy.  

This barrier is the gremlin within every one of us: the inner critic. You know that little voice in your head? That voice that tells you not to try, never to take a risk, always to take the safe road, and to compromise your life by playing small? That’s your gremlin, and the message from your gremlin’s warnings is that you’re just not good enough to reach the summit of success. 

Regardless of any evidence to the contrary, the gremlin’s annoying voice continues to whisper: “It ain’t gonna happen.” This debilitating message bubbles up in many forms: “I’m not smart enough, experienced enough, and attractive enough.” It all comes back to a simple and quite vicious block: “I’m just not good enough to cut it.” 

Your gremlin is highly personal. It is rooted deeply inside you and carries the most intense emotional charge of any of the blocks we’ve explored. Your gremlin thrives on fear. When you hear its whispers, your motivation to try withers. You dread failing, feeling pain, and being embarrassed. You can even be scared of succeeding if the gremlin convinces you that you’ll fail eventually. 

So what are some typical gremlin statements? Do you hear any of these statements from your own inner critic? 

I’m not effective.
Who am I kidding, here?
I’m not smart enough to really do this job right.
I don’t have enough experience.
I don’t deserve great success.
They are going to find out I am a phony. 

Being aware of your gremlin is the first step towards lessening its power. Once you realize that your gremlin exists, give it an identity. Name it – and then, if you’d like, make it even more real by drawing it, sculpting it, or seeing it in your mind – whatever works for you. In doing this, you discover that the gremlin is only a part of who you are, not your whole identity. By seeing it in objective terms, you sap some of its strength. Gremlin work can be quite involved and is most effective when you are guided by a certified coach.   

Information on coaching and the process we at iPEC use to help clients overcome energy blocks can be found on our website, www.iPECcoaching.com, as well as in my book, Energy Leadership (Wiley).